A Little Revenge: Happiness
by Vinividivinci
Summary: Follows A Little Revenge: Cassie. The fluff-filled story of Jack and Sam, their love, their friends and their families. Pure, absolute, complete sweetness.
1. Chapter 1

"Nervous?" Daniel grinned at him.

Jack glared at the same time as he pulled his collar for the tenth time. How come it had gotten smaller? It must have shrunk in the wash. "No", he answered shortly. "Why would I be?"

"Oh I don't know. Maybe because you're getting married in about half an hour to the woman you've secretly been in love with for years."

He glared again. "I wasn't."

"Yes you were O'Neill. We were all aware of your feelings for Samantha Carter for some time."

Now his glare was turned to Teal'c – the traitor. "Okay fine – but -"

"But what Jack?" Daniel grinned even more widely, enjoying the fact that Jack – who was the bravest man he knew, except maybe for Teal'c – looked scared to death.

"I'm not nervous."

"Of course you're not. You're just-"

"Frightened", Teal'c contributed. "It is natural for a bride groom to be frightened before his nuptials", Teal'c explained. "His life is about to change and will never be the same. He now has another person for whom he is responsible – not just her life, but her soul as well. He knows that a relationship is difficult at best, and maintaining one while in a position of much authority will take much work and fortitude."

Jack was staring at Teal'c, unblinking. Where he'd been nervous before – now – oh God, his DAMN COLLAR WAS STRANGLING HIM!

"Uh Teal'c – I don't think that helped." Daniel was no longer smiling, but was looking at his friend with worry on his face. "Uh – are you okay Jack?"

Jack closed his eyes and took some deep breaths. Sam was strong and competent and didn't need him to look after her, he told himself. He _wasn't_ going to screw this up – not like he'd done with Sara. But Teal'c was right, a relationship _was_ difficult and he and Sam had tough jobs and they lived a long way apart and – hell – maybe he'd made a mistake. He should have left things as they were and not tried to be together. It could only end in disaster.

"O'Neill?"

He opened his eyes to see his two friends directly in front of him, worried looks on their faces.

"I am sorry", Teal'c told him softly. "I did not mean to upset you. You and Samantha Carter are soul mates – you will bring one another much joy and contentment, of that I have no doubt."

"Yeah Jack – we're just teasing you know. We're all happy for you and we know you're doing the right thing. You two belong together."

"I – she's – god, what was I thinking?" Jack said, putting his hands through his hair. "She can do a million times better than me."

"Don't be ridiculous", his friend told him. "You're perfect for one another. You balance each other. Both of you are military and like –" Daniel waved his arms around "military stuff – I mean you _think_ that way. But you're also really good for her."

"Good for her?" Jack looked at him askance. "How? She's way smarter than me, she's younger and gorgeous and she has half the men in the universe salivating all over her – and most of _them_ are way smarter than me."

"You make her laugh", was all Daniel said, as if that was enough.

… and maybe it was. Jack suddenly remembered many of the times, when things got really bad, that he _had_ made her laugh – or giggle, his favorite. He knew she could get so involved in her work that she'd forget to come up for air, unless he made her. He thought of that look she got – which he was positive was for him alone – that combination of affection, attraction and – okay, so maybe it was irritation – but it was directed solely at him. And then there was her smile, and her laugh and her eyes – which looked at him with deep intensity. And he couldn't forget the many things she did to him – and _for_ him when they were in bed – whoa! Stop that Jack or you're _really_ going to embarrass yourself.

He sighed. "You really think this is the right thing to do?" he asked his friends.

"Yes", they both answered in unison. "And you know us Jack – if we didn't we'd let you know."

There was that of course. Daniel at least would tell him to his face if he was being an idiot. Teal'c would raise his eyebrow – hey, come to think of it he hadn't seen the eyebrow in a while. He glanced as the Jaffa, and almost laughed when the eyebrow immediately went up. So okay – he was being an idiot now.

He sighed again. "I know – I'm being an idiot but -"

"But she's special and you suddenly doubt that you deserve her." As he often did, Daniel hit the nail on the head.

"Yeah", he answered softly.

"Well, I can tell you that right now she's probably thinking exactly the same thing!"

"What? That she's special and I don't deserve her?"

Daniel rolled his eyes. "No Jack – you know damn well what I mean. She _adores_ you – she always has and really, you know her better than anyone. Do you really doubt that she's regretting this – or that she _will_ regret this? If I know you, I figure you're determined to make sure she never _does_ regret marrying you. I predict a very long, happy marriage for the O'Neills."

"I do as well", Teal'c added, nodding sagely. "I also believe that you will be blessed with beautiful children who will enrich your lives greatly."

"Either that or kill me!" But this time Jack was grinning. His collar no longer felt as if it were strangling him and his heart had slowed to a more normal pace. He was surprised at himself – and a little ashamed – to have experienced a panic attack. Up until that moment he'd been nothing but happy and excited. Why it would have hit now he didn't know. Oh well – better now than at the altar!

Teal'c and Daniel looked at one another, still concerned over their friend. They had rarely, if ever, seen him in that state and it surprised them both. "You okay now?" Daniel check in with his friend.

"Yeah – thanks" the General nodded. He slapped both men on their backs. "I'm fine – don't know what got into me."

"Oh – pre-marriage jitters", Daniel laughed. "Just like all those sweet young virgins used to get. Hey – maybe _that's_ it", he teased. "He's scared of his wedding night! Well don't worry Jack – remember, just lie there and think of mother England!"

Teal'c was frowning. "I do not believe that to be the reason Daniel Jackson. The fact that Samantha is pregnant with O'Neill's child precludes the possibility that O'Neill will be a virgin on his wedding night. Besides that-"

"Okay, okay Teal'c", Jack interrupted, not sure whether to laugh or to be embarrassed or insulted. "I think Daniel was teasing." It was only when Teal'c turned to look at him that Jack did laugh. "Teal'c, you fraud you – you were pulling my leg."

"I don't know about that O'Neill, but I assure you – I never doubted for a moment that you were no virgin."

"Yeah well, let's change the subject okay? I think my sex life is not something I really want to be discussing with you two and especially not just before my wedding."

"No – I believe you should leave that conversation for Samantha, _after_ the wedding", Teal'c nodded.

Daniel choked back a laugh at Jack's pained expression. At least now the man wasn't terrified so he and Teal'c had done their job. "That's good", he added, "Because I _really_ didn't want to have to give him the 'facts of life' talk."

"Will you two – _stop_!" Jack laughed. "And I'm sure your 'talk' would be most interesting. If I know you Daniel, I'd end up hearing about the mating habits of the ancient kumquats or something. Now come on – it's time to get to the chapel."

It was as they were leaving the hotel room that Jack heard Daniel mutter 'kumquats! They're a _fruit_ Jack!"

He was suddenly totally calm. From the doubts and terror of a few minutes ago, to the calm and surety of now felt like he'd moved into a totally new universe. Or maybe – and here he smiled – to an alternate reality. That thought made him remember their meetings with a couple of those realities – and the fact that he and Sam had been together in those as well. Maybe there _were_ cosmic truths. They were clearly meant to be together – so this was the right thing to do. He hadn't really doubted it – or only for a brief moment – no, this was_ definitely_ the right thing to do.

He looked at the few people sitting in the pews in the tiny chapel in Vegas: George Hammond, Hank, Mark and his family and Walter. He grinned. How could they not invite the faithful Sergeant? Mind you, he'd threatened the man with all sorts of hideous consequences if any of this got out – or was used to solve some kind of SGC bet.

He then thought of the people who were missing; first of course was his son. Although if his son were alive, he probably wouldn't be here, which gave him a strange, and not very pleasant feeling in his gut. He quickly moved on, not wanting to examine that one in any depth. Next he thought of his own family – his parents, gone for many years, his sister Margaret – someone he'd lost touch with years ago. He wondered if he should try and find her. Then there was Janet – his little power-monger. He missed her terribly and knew there'd always be a hole in his heart for her. He also knew Sam felt the same. There were others of course; Kawalski – who'd been best man at his first wedding, Cromwell – he no longer felt bitterness towards his former friend, just regret that he'd never had the chance to tell the man he forgave him. There were many other men and women who he'd lost – but he put them away for now.

There were others, still alive, who would be disappointed not to be here, but Jack and Sam decided that they'd have a reception and invite those people. For now – this was just for the few who were closest to them. Now was a time for joy, not for sadness. He spared one quick thought for his son, hoping that if Charlie _was_ aware somewhere, whether in heaven or someplace else, that he'd be happy for him. With that he turned his attention to the door leading into the chapel. The music has started and soon he'd see the love of his life.

Sam's niece came in first, dressed in a pale yellow dress, holding a small bouquet of white flowers. She was followed almost immediately by Cassie, the young woman also dressed in yellow and looking mature and beautiful. Jack realized he'd have to keep a closer eye on his adopted daughter. The young men were going to be swarming!

Finally – the person he'd been waiting for for years. His breath hitched and he only stopped breathing when he felt Daniel's hand on his back. She was – more than he deserved.

It was Daniel's elbow in his ribs that made him close his mouth – and smile. How could he have been so lucky as to have this woman love him? She was simply – beautiful. The two bridesmaids stepped aside and suddenly she was here – in front of him, looking serene and beautiful and - happy. He reached out blindly and took her hand and pulled her forward. He wanted nothing so much as to lean forward and kiss her.

Again it was Daniel who managed to pull him back – to the delight of the guests. Jack gave a sheepish grin and stood beside her, her hand in his. The minister began to speak.

It was all over so quickly he barely registered what had happened. All he knew was that they were married – he had finally done it. He was _married_ to Samantha Carter – genius, soldier and national treasure – and she was _his_! Damn it – he'd just won the lottery!

"I love you", she whispered as the minister continued to speak a few final words.

"You may kiss the bride" the man said – and Jack did.

When he finally came up for air, the minister, who was laughing openly, introduced them.

"Mr. and Mrs. O'Neill."

Their guests clapped and stood – and suddenly there were hugs and congratulations all around. Jack could barely speak – he still couldn't believe that she'd _married_ him. He – Jack O'Neill – major screw up, ex black ops – with more secrets and crap in his life than anyone could imagine – he'd won the most beautiful woman in the galaxy as his!

"You okay?" she whispered worriedly. So far he hadn't spoken, except to say his vows.

"Oh yeah", he answered simply, a grin suddenly appearing on his face. "_More_ than okay."

"You're quiet", she commented, relieved that he was happy.

"Just thinkin'", he told her.

"_You_? Thinking? What about?" she grinned back.

"Uh uh, no sarcasm Mrs. O'Neill", he told her. "I was thinking that I'm the luckiest man in the whole world and that I can't believe you actually married me."

"Really?" she smiled even more broadly. "That's exactly what I was thinking."

He feigned surprise. "That you can't believe you married me?"

She laughed. "No you idiot – that I can't believe you married _me_?"

This time he didn't have to feign surprise. "What? Why would you possibly think that?"

"Because – you're a national – heck, a _galactic_ hero. You could have any woman you wanted and instead you chose me."

"You two are crazy, do you know that?" Daniel had sneaked up beside them, with Teal'c on their other side. "You deserve each other – and you _love_ each other. Can't you just accept that?"

Jack pulled back slightly from his wife and regarded her carefully – while she did the same. "You know, I think Danny has something there."

"And I think you might be right. Let's just agree that we both got very lucky and leave it at that."

"Thank God!" Daniel muttered.

"Indeed", repeated Teal'c.

They all went to dinner after the ceremony at a lovely Italian restaurant. Sam had arranged a private room for them all and it was lovely. There was also some music to dance to for a short while, which topped the day off perfectly.

"So – where are you two going for your honeymoon", someone called out. "And don't tell us you're going fishing!"

Everyone laughed and Sam looked at Jack. "Well – are you going to tell me now?" she asked. He'd promised her a wonderful honeymoon, but he hadn't given her a clue as to where it was going to be. He simply smiled and took another bite of his dinner.

"It's a surprise", he finally told everyone. "We'll take pictures."

There was a collective 'aw' and then everyone went on to enjoy themselves. It was then that the music had started, so Jack asked Sam to dance.

"You're really not going to tell me?" she asked him.

"No, not yet at least. Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough."

"You're _sure_ it's not somewhere in the Caribbean?" she asked. She'd been trying to ferret it out of him all week, with absolutely no luck. When he didn't answer she let out a groan of impatience. "How _can_ you keep it a secret?" she asked, frustrated.

He raised his brows at that. "Well, since I pretty much keep secrets for a living, it isn't too hard."

"You're not supposed to keep secrets from _me_", she reasoned. "I have clearance!"

"Not for honeymoon destinations."

"Aaargh. What if I don't pack the right clothes", she reasoned.

"Sam, this is our _honeymoon_. You won't need clothes."

"Jack O'Neill", she laughed. "Are you telling me you're not going to let me go out at all?"

"Oh, you can go out – just not with clothes."

Her eyes grew big and round. "It's not a nudist colony is it?"

He laughed out loud at that, making everyone turn their heads. "No, not a colony anyway. If you want to go around nude the whole time well I'd be fine with that."

She just shook her head and laughed and then leaned forward so that her head rested on Jack's – her husband's - chest. "I wish my Dad could be here", she said softly. She felt Jack pull her closer and kiss the top of her head.

"Me too, although somehow I suspect he _is_ here."

"Jack?" she leaned back slightly so that she could see him. "Don't you have _any_ relatives you wanted to invite?" He hadn't spoken much at all about his family, other than to tell her that his parents were both dead. He'd mentioned having some cousins, but had not given her names or told her anything about them. She was curious, but also wanted to respect his privacy.

"Not really", he said softly, pulling her forward once more. "I kind of lost touch with most of them after my parents died. I had a couple of cousins I was close to as a kid, but our lives went different directions."

"I see", she stated calmly, feeling rather sad for him. "That's too bad." She left it at that, knowing that if he wanted to tell her more he would. As it was they had Daniel and Teal'c and Cassie and George and her family. She smiled – she was his wife and she was happy. What more could she possibly want?


	2. Honeymoon

_**A very short, sweet, nothing chapter. For those who wanted to know - yes, I'm continuing this series - probably at least until baby comes.**_

"You're not peeking are you?" he asked for the hundredth time.

"No Jack", she sighed in a long-suffering voice. Even though she liked giving him a hard time, she was actually enjoying this immensely. It wasn't just because she loved surprises (good ones, not, 'there are twenty Jaffa pointing staff weapons at them on a supposedly deserted planet ones') but because she loved how much fun Jack was having with this whole thing. It made her happy to see how - _light_ – he seemed and how much he enjoyed trying to do something special for her. It really didn't matter to her where they went – they could have gone back to her house for all she cared. All she wanted to do was spend time with her new husband.

"Okay – just don't look!" They'd gone back to their hotel room after the reception was over and changed and then he'd brought her to wherever they were in a rented car. He'd made her wear the blindfold the whole way, so she had absolutely no idea where they were, except she was pretty sure they'd left the city. It was too quiet and she didn't see any light peeking through the bottom of the blindfold.

They'd said goodbye to everyone at the reception, with lots of hugs and kisses, and Jack had explained they were leaving immediately on their honeymoon. There had been a lot of laughter and teasing from everyone and a muttered 'remember kumquats Jack!" from Daniel.

"I think I can figure out what to do without remembering them Daniel", he'd smirked.

"Oh, I'm sure you can! As Teal'c said, Sam _is _pregnant!"

"Stow it Space Monkey." But Jack had grinned and accepted the hug from Daniel.

"I'm happy for you", his friend said. "Have a great time."

"Don't worry – we will!"

* * *

"Jack, what are we waiting for?" she asked, sitting in the car with the blindfold still on. He'd parked somewhere and they'd been sitting for a few moments in silence.

"Nothing", he replied – and the next moment she felt a strange sensation and knew they were now someplace else.

"Okay, you can take it off", he told her.

She pulled off the strip of material around her eyes and looked around in surprise. They were in a small ship – a space ship – and she was looking down at Earth.

"Welcome."

She turned in surprise to see a man – Tok'ra obviously by the clothes – at the ship's controls.

"Uh hi", she answered, turning to look at Jack with a question in her eyes.

"I am Tal'thor", the Tok'ra explained. "I was a friend of Selmak and your father", he explained. "I am sorry for your loss. I too miss them."

"Thank you Tal'thor. Uh – can I ask…?"

"Why you are here?" he smiled. "I believe General O'Neill will want to explain." He turned to Jack. "I will leave you now and wish you a happy -?"

"Honeymoon", Jack grinned. "Thanks Tal'thor. We appreciate you delivering the ship."

The Tok'ra grinned, which rather surprised Sam, although it made her believe that this man really _had_ been a friend of her father. As much as he'd enjoyed the last few years of his life, he'd bemoaned the lack of humor in many of the Tok'ra.

Tal'thor stood and touched something in his hand. With that he disappeared in a flash of light.

Sam looked again at her husband. "Okay – I assume that was an Asgaard beam?"

"Yup", he said, sounding smug.

"So – you have the Tok'ra _and_ the Asgaard in on this?"

"Yup."

"And … what _is _this?"

"Well, I thought it would be nice to go somewhere – different. Just taking you to the Caribbean or Europe – or even my – our cabin didn't seem special enough."

"So instead you figured a ship in space would be more – exotic?"

"Oh, the ship is just our means of transportation." He grinned again. "I thought you'd enjoy taking it for a spin. The ship is actually on loan from Warrick."

"_Warrick_? You're kidding?"

"Nope – it's a special ship he's been working on. He said it handles like a dream. He told me to tell you congratulations and he hopes you will one day race with him again. He wanted to come but couldn't because his new wife is about to have a baby."

"That's great." She paused and then looked at him in wonder. "Okay – so the Tok'ra, the Asgaard _and_ the Serrakin?"

"Yup! Hey, what can I say – they all love you."

"Not just me Jack – although I think the Tok'ra do like me better than you."

"Yeah, well _I_ like you better than them – waaaaay better. I can leave most of them, although I must admit that Tal'thor is okay. He has a sense of humor. The Asgaard and Serrakin are pretty good."

By this time Sam was barely listening to him. She'd wandered over to the console and started looking at all the controls. Jack could tell she'd entered into 'science mode' and it would be a while before she returned to Earth – or to space to be more accurate.

It was almost ten minutes later before she seemed to realize that she'd completely ignored her new husband in favor of the ship. She grimaced slightly and looked up, to find him staring at her with open affection. "Sorry", she said.

"Don't be. This was part of my gift to you. I knew you'd love it."

"Oh yeah", she smiled. "I do. I'm itching to fly her."

"Well, we have her for a week so you'll have the chance to try her out. But now, it's really time to get this honeymoon on the road. The coordinates have been input – just follow what they say and we should be there in about an hour."

"There? Where is 'there'?"

"Just a place I thought would be good for a honeymoon."

"Not a nudist colony?" she asked suspiciously.

"No", he laughed, "_not_ a nudist colony, although we could start one?"

With a laugh she turned back to the controls, anxious to get to their destination. She started her up and soon was flying through space – something she still had trouble believing, even after all their adventures all over the galaxy.

Warrick had been right – she handled like a dream. She tried a few fancy maneuvers, which had Jack rolling his eyes and openly laughing at her. She could tell, though, that he was enjoying it almost as much as she was. She could also tell that he was itching to try her out. He was every bit as good a pilot as her – in fact, he was probably better, although she'd never admit it. He loved to fly and complained that he didn't get much chance any more, now that he was a 'paper pusher'.

"Here", she stood up. "Wanna try her?"

"You sure?" he asked, his brows raised.

"Mmm hmm. Just watch the controls. They're incredibly responsive."

Without any more encouragement he sat down and took the controls. After a few moments he had a huge grin on his face. "God – I wonder if Warrick will let us keep her? I'd love to be able to fly her on the weekends. Hey – I could fly to Nellis and come see you every day!"

"Mmmm sounds nice. Somehow I don't think the Air Force would go for it."

"Probably not, although I could tell them that it would offend the Serrakin if I didn't keep it."

She just shook her head and he pouted.

"We're almost there", he told her, looking down at the star map. "Buckle up ma'am. We're going in for a landing!"

"You can land this thing?"

"I hope you're asking if this ship can land on solid ground rather than if _I_ can land her", he warned her. "Because if you are questioning my skills Carter …. !"

"Oh, I would never question your - skills – _Sir!_"

He glanced over and gave her a wicked smile. "Good, because then I'd have to -."

"What would you have to do General?"

"I'd have to prove to you that my skills were – just fine."

"Oh – you've proved that to me _many_ times." She gave him a naughty grin. "Although I could use a refresher course."

He turned back to the ships controls and did something to them. In a few short minutes they'd entered a planet's atmosphere and he landed the craft quickly and easilty. He immediately stood up and took her hand and began to pull her to the hatch, which was now open.

"Where are we going?"

"To give you a refresher course!"

She laughed and gladly followed him out the hatch and onto – the most beautiful place she'd ever seen in her life.

"Jack", she breathed. She stopped dead and looked around in wonder – they'd landed in paradise.

"Yeah?" He stopped and turned to her and smiled when he saw her expression. "Nice, isn't it?"

"Nice? It's – amazing. What is this place?"

"Oh, just a little place Thor told me about. He showed me some pictures and I thought you'd like it."

"I – god, it's amazing. That waterfall and the pond –"

"Yup – and over there is the ocean with a beach to die for."

"But – who lives here? Are there people around?"

"Nope. It's a deserted planet. The Asgaard have protected it for years, thousands of years from what Thor told me. They let people use it as a holiday retreat I guess. See", he grinned, "I told you that you didn't need clothes. We can start our own nudist colony here."

She got an impish look in her eyes and gave him a saucy smile. "How about skinny dipping in that pool?"

"Sounds good", he responded, "Although I'm not hot enough yet. I think we should exercise a bit first and then cool off in there."

"Oh – and what kind of exercise did you have in mind?"

He shook his head at her and without saying another word reached over and picked her up.

"_Jack_", she screeched. "What are you doing?"

"Taking you to show you what kind of exercise I have in mind."

Afterward she laid there, her hands behind her back, looking out the sheer curtains that were swaying in the gentle breeze. Their 'bedroom' for want of a better word, was on a platform over-looking the ocean. The bed was huge and comfortable. There were no walls – only the curtains.

She gave a contented sigh and slowly rolled to her side and looked at Jack, who had his eyes closed and was wearing nothing but a small smile.

"Doesn't it ever get cold here?" Sam asked.

"Don't know", Jack answered. "I haven't been here before. Thor said it's beautiful and safe – that's all I cared about."

"Mmmm. What about food?"

"You hungry?" he opened an eye and stared at her.

"Not really – just wondering."

"It's over there", he pointed with one arm. "Let me know when you are and I'll get something."

There was a pause as she cuddled up next to him. He brought his arm around and pulled her closer. "So – like your honeymoon?"

"I _love_ it", she answered, "although I love you more."

"Good!"

"Jack?"

"Mmmm?"

"I don't want to live in Nevada with you in Washington. I don't want to live apart."

He opened both eyes then and looked at her seriously. "I thought you were okay with it?"

"I was, but that was _before_ we were married. I want to be with you, especially since we have a child coming."

He rolled over until he was looking directly at her. "I don't want to either", he said bluntly. "We'll figure something out, even if I have to -"

"Don't say it", she held her fingers up to his lips. "You'd go crazy in a week. No, I guess we'll just have to make do for now. Either that or _I_ can -"

This time it was Jack who covered her mouth. He then removed his hand and covered her mouth with his lips instead. After a few glorious seconds he leaned back. "Uh uh", he said. "You're not allowed to either." He rolled back onto his back and stared at the ceiling of their small 'room' "We'll figure something out Sam, I promise."

She lay there too, knowing there was little they _could_ do. Even though they were now married, it still wasn't what she would have liked for their life. Still, she sighed, it could be worse. They could be single and alone – or with other people. No, she should just be happy. She wasn't about to let the future destroy her honeymoon.

"So – what was that about food?" she finally asked. She turned her head to see Jack looking at her with worry in his eyes. When he saw her grin he relaxed and pushed himself up. "Your wish is my command my lady", he said. He stood and stretched, and she admired his long, lean, and very naked body.

"I'll be right back", he said, turning to the stairs leading out of their little 'boudoir'.

"Aren't you going to get dressed?" she asked.

He turned and gave her a naughty grin. "Nope", he said. "I like the idea of that nudist colony!"

She laughed as he left and laid back, thinking again how much she loved Jack O'Neill.


	3. Thor's Visit

_**Short, silly and lightly naughty but nothing explicit**_

"Want to go for a dip?" He was propped up on his elbow, looking down at her and tracing his finger across her stomach. He was more relaxed than he could ever remember being – at least not for a long, long time.

"Mmmm", she murmured, noncommittally.

"And does that mean 'yes' my lazy one?"

"Mmmm", she replied.

He laughed and rolled over so that he was sitting on the side of the bed. "Okay Samantha Carter-O'Neill, time to get your butt out of that bed! Let's go for a swim."

She sighed and rolled over onto her side. "You're cruel", she muttered, looking at him.

"Cruel?" He laughed again. "You've been in bed for -"

"Days. I know, isn't it wonderful?" She gave him a smile that would have knocked him flat if he'd been standing. As it was it tempted him to get right down on the bed with her. But then again – he really didn't know if he could handle it right now. He was just about at the point of total exhaustion – wonderful, amazinf, fantastic exhaustion – but exhaustion nevertheless. And besides that – he was a bit sore.

"Yes, it's wonderful, but so too will be a dip in that cool, lovely pool. Come on." He stood and then stood waiting for her to get up.

She sighed again but finally swung her legs over the side of the bed. She then looked up and grinned at the man standing above her. "Help me up?" she asked sweetly.

He shook his head but reached down and pulled her up. "Since when did you get to be so helpless, Colonel?" he asked her with a small smile.

"Since you wore me out General", she answered cheekily. "My legs feel like rubber."

"No, actually they feel like silky, smooth satin", he murmured in her ear, rubbing his hands up and down her thigh. Maybe going swimming _wasn't _such a good idea after all?

"I thought you wanted to swim", she whispered, reading his mind – or maybe that was his body. "Come on flyboy – let's go for a walk!"

"_Now_ who's cruel", he griped, but he took her hand and followed her out of their little bedroom. As they headed towards the beautiful pond at the base of an absolutely stunning waterfall, he couldn't help but think that the last few days had been the best of his life. He'd grown to love Sam more than he had before – and he hadn't thought that was even possible. Of course the fact that he'd _loved _Sam all week probably had something to do with it. He was pretty sure there was something about this planet that gave one added – strength – because even now he couldn't believe how many times –

"You coming?"

"Huh?" he said startled. Surely she didn't mean _again_? "Oh – you mean into the pool?"

She laughed at that – so much she had to bend over. "What, did you think I meant -?"

"Hey", he interrupted. "How could I _not_ think that? It's pretty well all we've been doing all week!"

"I know!" she waggled her eyebrows at him and dove into the water. She popped up a few seconds later, her hair and face streaming water. "And it was glorious!"

"That it was", he agreed, and dove into the water after her. It felt wonderful and again he wondered briefly if there was more to this planet than just beauty. Everything about it seemed more beautiful, more fragrant, healthier and just plain – amazing than any place he'd ever been. He hadn't felt so good – physically – for years and Sam claimed the same thing. He should ask Thor if he and Sam could start a Spa here. They'd make a fortune.

They swam and splashed and played for almost an hour until Jack complained that he was hungry and wanted to eat. "All this exercise – a man needs sustenance you know!"

"And so does a woman. Come on", she pulled herself out onto the ground. "Let's go eat."

And that was another thing. The food here was to die for. There was a room where everything was kept cool but was already prepared. There was a small oven of some kind – Sam had wondered idly about the technology but he'd quickly distracted her with other, less technological things – that warmed their food to perfection. They also had as much fruit and vegetables and drinks that they could want. It all felt sinfully delicious – but gloriously healthy at the same time.

"That was great", Sam said, shaking some of the water off of her hair. "I really wish we didn't have to leave here."

Jack reached over and took her hand and they began walking back towards their little 'vacation home'. "As much as I agree with you, I'm afraid it would start to get tedious after a while."

"What? You're saying that you'd get bored with me?" she feigned indignation.

"No – not with you. Heck, I'm taking you back with me. No – paradise is wonderful and I'll cherish the memory of these days for as long as I live but -"

"I know", she agreed softly. "We'd soon miss our friends and real life. Still", she sighed, "I hope we can come back here someday."

They were walking slowly, enjoying the breeze of the warm afternoon. In the end they'd decided they really _didn't_ need clothes and had spent the week without wearing anything – much to Jack's delight. The temperature was always perfect and there was no one else around so it made it easier – and much sexier, to go without –

"Greetings General O'Neill, Colonel Carter – O'Neill."

Jack practically jumped out of his skin – literally. Sam actually let out a small screech as their little gray alien friend appeared directly in front of them.

Jack could feel his ears turn a bit pink to be caught strolling completely naked down the garden path. He glanced sideways at Sam and couldn't help but grin. She was totally red, from the top of her head right down – hell – he didn't know someone _could _blush down there. He'd have to tease her about that.

"Uh – Thor – hi. What's up?" He glanced down quickly to make sure nothing _was_ up that shouldn't be – at least not now, not in front of a third person.

"I simply came to verify that everything was alright and that you were enjoying the planet?"

"Oh – yeah – it's good, great. We love it. Don't we Sam?"

"Yes", was all she answered, looking at the tree to the side of Thor. She was still red.

"I am happy for that. Are you feeling well Colonel Carter-O'Neill?" Thor asked. "You appear uncomfortable."

"Uh – no – I'm fine. Just – a bit chilly actually."

"Chilly? Oh, you mean your body temperature?" Thor frowned. "I apologize. The planet's temperature is supposed to be regulated to ensure your maximum comfort. I can raise the temperature if you so desire?"

"No – no that's fine. It's probably because we were just swimming."

"Yes, I see that you are wet. The pool was created especially for you as General O'Neill indicated it was something he thought you would enjoy."

Sam looked at Jack briefly and gave a small smile. "Thank you", she told him, although she was obviously still feeling uncomfortable.

"You're welcome. It's been great Thor – really. Uh, thanks for dropping by. We certainly didn't expect it." He was sure he heard a small choking sound coming from his wife, but he refused to look.

"It is no problem O'Neill. The Asgaard are pleased to have been able to do this for two whom we think of as great friends. I also made sure that I did not appear at your bedside. Daniel Jackson informed me that it would make you feel uncomfortable were I to show up there on your honeymoon."

"Uh – yeah – thanks. It would have."

"Although I do not understand why", the little alien puzzled. "The sexual activities of humans is something we find extremely fascinating. You must understand that it is something that has been lost to my people for many millennia – there is no longer a need for sexual reproduction."

"Yeah – we get that", Jack nodded, pressing his lips together. This time he was sure Sam choked.

"I would be very interested in observing if you would not mind. It is something I understand from having read about it, but sadly have never observed two humans cop -"

"Sorry buddy", Jack broke in. "It's – I'm afraid it's not something that humans – most humans – really want to demonstrate. It's kind of something – private, you know?"

"Really? That is strange. I would have thought that something that is so basic to humans would be celebrated publicly, especially when a man and woman have chosen to be together."

"Well – nope. Sorry but it's just not something we – uh – show."

"Alright, although if you change your mind I would be very interested in observing."

"Okay sure. If we change our minds I'll be sure to let you know."

Thor blinked and then spoke again. "I understand congratulations are in order Colonel Carter", Thor turned to her and looked her straight in the – stomach?"

"Congratulations?"

"Yes,I see you are carrying a human child." He then turned to Jack. "Is the offspring yours O'Neill?"

"Uh – yeah, it's mine."

"Then I owe you congratulations as well. It appears as if you are still in the early gestational stages Colonel?"

"Early -? Oh, yes. I'm just a few months along."

"So you will become larger as the child grows?"

"Yup – she'll blow up like a balloon. In fact she'll look like she's carrying a basketball around in there."

Thor looked confused and Sam hit him. "Ow", he rubbed his arm. "I'm just explaining things to Thor."

"Well explain them a little better, next time", she told him. She turned to their friend. "I will get bigger, yes. It is, of course, the General's fault that I will _blow up like a balloon_!" she told him.

"I see", Thor nodded, staring again at her stomach. "O'Neill is tall for a human, is he not?"

"A bit", Jack nodded, still rubbing his arm.

"Then the child will be large?"

"Could be", Jack agreed, "Although you never know. Human babies are unpredictable – as are human women", he said under his breath. "Ow!" He rubbed his arm again.

"Well, I can assure you that both the child and Colonel Carter-O'Neill are extremely healthy – and after staying here will be even more so."

"I _knew_ it!" Jack pumped his fist. "There _is_ something about this place, isn't there?"

"It brings health and long life to those who visit. It has many healing properties as well as calming the spirit."

"_Yes_!" Jack grinned. "Uh, does it heal bruises?"

Thor simply blinked – his way of ignoring O'Neill's more confusing comments. "I will leave you now to return to your honeymoon. Before I go however, I wanted to give you a gift from the Asgaard people. He turned around and picked up a box which had been lying behind him, and which neither of the two humans had seen. "Here. We understand that the two of you must live in different cities. This will make it simpler for you to visit one another."

Jack took the box and opened it. Inside were two small disks – less than half the size of a dime. "Uh – thanks Thor but what -"

Thor lifted his hand and one of the disks jumped out of the box and onto Jack's chest. It disappeared almost instantly. He then motioned to the second disk.

"Wait a second", Jack stopped him. "I assume that's for Sam?"

"Yes", Thor answered, looking questioningly at his human friend.

"Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. I mean with the baby and everything –".

"It will not harm the child O'Neill, that I promise. We made sure of this before developing these."

Jack turned to Sam. "You okay with this?"

"You're sure Thor?" she asked.

"Positive Colonel Carter."

"Okay – but what does it do?" she wanted to know.

"It is a transport device. All you have to do is think of the other person and tell yourself to go to him or her and you will travel there."

"You're kidding?" Jack asked. "You mean – I can use this to travel from DC to Nevada, _instantly_?"

"Yes, if that is where Colonel Carter-O'Neill is."

"Wow – hey, thanks Thor. This solves our problem Sam", he looked at her with a huge smile.

Instead of looking happy she frowned. "Do you think they'll let us use this?" she asked him.

"What – the government?"

"They will indeed", Thor answered for him. "We asked permission of your President and he spoke to others. Once they were assured that no one else could use the disks – they were created specifically for you – they deemed it safe. They simply ask that you be – discreet – in your usage of them."

"Wow", Jack said again. "Thanks!"

"Yes Thor", Sam grinned as well. "Thank you!", she told him as the disk disappeared into her upper arm.

"You are welcome. Now I must go. I will meet you at the rendezvous point in two days."

"Thanks again." Jack nodded.

Just as the little alien was about to leave he turned back to the humans. "It is good to see you without clothing", he told them. "I always felt human clothes looked remarkably uncomfortable and could never understand why your people insisted on coving their bodies." He regarded them both for a moment. "Especially when you both appear to have extremely fine ones."

Both Sam and Jack smiled awkwardly and nodded, not sure what to say.

Thor frowned and blinked again. "You are sure that it would not be possible for me to observe -"

"Nope!" Jack answered. "See you in two days Thor. It was nice of you to drop by and visit but we really have to get back to – you know – uh – copulating – _privately_!"

With a disappointed look Thor nodded and disappeared in a flash of light.

Sam and Jack stood frozen, simply staring at the place that Thor had been seconds before.

"Okay", Sam said quietly, "That had to be the world's most uncomfortable visit."

"Oh, I don't know – it could have been worse."

"Worse?" she looked at him, her eyes wide.

"Yup – If Daniel hadn't said anything Thor would have appeared beside our bed while we were in the middle of – you know."

"Oh God. _Thank_ you Daniel!"

"Amen to that! Now, let's get back to that copulating!"

"Jack!" she laughed but then turned and ran to their bedroom. "Last one in bed is a rotten egg!"


	4. A Good Time

_**Sorry - I posted this to the wrong story. It's supposed to be here - my apologies to those who read this already.**_

_**A teeny tiny bit of nonsense**_

**Setting: Jack and Sam have returned from their honeymoon. Even though Sam has to return to work, Jack is still on leave and decides to spend a couple of days with Daniel and Teal'c before they leave Earth – Daniel for Atlantis, Teal'c for Dakara.**

"Did you have a good time?" Daniel was leaning back in his lounge chair, drinking some kind of fruit concoction.

"It was my honeymoon", Jack answered.

"So – did you have a good time?"

Jack sighed. "Yes Daniel, I had a very good time."

"Good." There was a short pause. "What did you do?"

Jack turned slowly to look at his friend and rolled his eyes. "It was my _honeymoon_! What do you think we did?"

"Oh." There was another pause. "Well, you must have done _something _else."

Jack thought for a second. "Nope." He took a swig of beer.

"Oh. So, you had a good time."

"Yes, I had a very good time."

**Jack invites his friends out to O'Malley's for one final dinner before they leave.**

"O'Neill. You are looking well."

"Thanks Teal'c. I feel great."

"Ask him about his honeymoon", suggested Daniel, taking a bite of his baked potato.

"I will not", Teal'c answered. "I do not believe that is an appropriate question to ask a man newly married."

"There ya go Teal'c!" Jack lifted his glass to his friend.

"Why not?" Daniel looked at him, a puzzled expression on his face.

"What can he answer?" Teal'c explained. "He cannot very well tell me what he did and if he had less than a good time he cannot complain, because that would not be kind to his bride. It is best not to inquire."

"Oh – well I asked him."

"Of course you did Daniel Jackson", his Jaffa friend answered.

"Of _course _– hey, what do you mean by that?"

"He means that you're nosy", Jack explained, cutting his steak and putting a piece in his mouth.

"I am not nosy!"

"Yes you are", both Teal'c and Jack answered at the same time. "But we love you for it", Jack continued.

"We do not", Teal'c contradicted.

"Well, _some_ of the time we do but other times, not so much." Jack was feeling very mellow tonight – heck, he'd been feeling mellow since his honeymoon. He knew it was partly the planet but also being married to Sam was just – good, very, very good.

"He's doing it again Teal'c."

"Indeed."

"What?" Jack looked back and forth between his two friends. "Doing what?"

"Going all – moony on us."

"Moony? What is that? There's no such word as _moony_!"

"No, but there should be", Daniel answered, "because it describes you perfectly. You get this look on your face and we both know you're thinking of Sam."

"And his honeymoon", Teal'c added sagely. "You are definitely moony O'Neill."

"You're both just jealous!" Jack smirked. "And by the way Teal'c – my honeymoon was _great_!"

"Ask him what they did", Daniel said with a long-suffering sigh.

"I would rather not know", the Jaffa responded, digging into his own steak. "I do not like to think of O'Neill and Samantha in that way. It is rather like thinking of one's parents."

"Oooh. Thanks for that Teal'c. Now I can't get _that_ out of my mind. Hey Jack", Daniel suddenly looked at the older man. "Did Thor visit you guys? He told me he was planning to."

Jack was looking at his friends with narrowed eyes, unsure whether to be insulted or to laugh. In the end he just shook his head. He'd never had brothers, but he was pretty sure that both Daniel and Teal'c were classic examples of said relatives. "Huh? Thor? Oh yeah. By the way Daniel, we have to thank you for that."

"I thought you'd appreciate it", Daniel looked for and found the ketchup for his next course – French fries.

"What did he do?" Teal'c liked to pretend he wasn't as curious or as 'nosy' as Daniel, but Jack knew the truth.

"I told Thor not to visit them when they were in bed. I explained it wasn't appropriate to do that on someone's honeymoon", Daniel explained.

Teal'c raised his eyebrows and looked at Daniel. He then turned slowly to O'Neill. "Did he …?"

"Did he visit us in bed? No, thank God. I think Sam would have killed him if he had." He then got a faraway look in his eyes – along with a huge grin on his face.

"What?" Daniel asked.

"O'Neill – why do you look like that?"

See – Teal'c was every bit as nosy as Daniel. He refocused on his friends. "Uh – no reason."

"No way Jack. You can't look like that and _not_ tell us. Unless, of course it has something to do with – you know - what you were doing on your honeymoon and then we really _don't_ want to know."

"Okay", Jack sighed. "But you absolutely, positively _cannot_ tell Sam that I told you."

"I swear on my son's life O'Neill", Teal'c solemnly swore.

"Yeah right – whatever. Now tell!" Daniel leaned forward.

"Well, Sam and I went for a swim. Okay, okay Daniel – so we _did_ do something else – and we ate and drank too – you satisfied?" When Daniel made no answer Jack continued. "Well, anyway, we were coming back from our swim when 'poof'."

"Poof?" Teal'c leaned forward.

"Yup _poof_ – Thor was suddenly standing right in front of us."

"And?" Daniel too leaned forward.

"And nothing – that was it."

"That was _it_? Why were you looking so – weird then?" Daniel leaned back and grabbed another fry.

"I was not looking weird!"

"Yes you were O'Neill. You had a very strange expression on your face. And I do not understand why you had us swear not to tell Samantha. That story was – not interesting."

"Teal'c! Are you telling me I'm boring?"

"Yes – if that is all there is to the story."

"Okay – so maybe I left out one _teensy_ detail", Jack replied. He stared for a moment at his steak – or the place his steak used to reside. Had he eaten it all already? Damn – how had that happened? He figured it must have been the fact that he was thinking about Sam. God, he did have it bad if that was able to distract him from steak.

"What's the detail you left out?" Daniel hissed at him impatiently.

"What? Oh – that. I told you we just came back from swimming?"

"Yes, we got that. What else?"

"Well, you see, we were the only people on the whole planet. It was gorgeous, really. It had a perfect temperature and the sun shone all day but there was a light breeze. It was paradise."

"Okay – so what's the detail?"

"We – I told you, there was no one around and we were on our honeymoon."

"So?" Daniel and Teal'c both looked at him with irritated looks on their faces.

"We were naked." Jack finally said, grabbing a piece of garlic bread and taking a big bite.

"You were – you mean when you met Thor?"

Jack nodded and continued to chew while his friends laughed. After a few seconds he swallowed and continued. "Sam was embarrassed. Hell, even I felt a little – uncomfortable, standing there buck naked. Didn't seem to bother Thor though", Jack gazed off into space, thinking back to the encounter.

"I don't suppose it would. I mean, they go around stark naked all the time. Although, come to think of it, they don't really have anything to hide. Did he say anything about it?" Daniel wanted to know.

"Yeah. He told us he liked the fact that we weren't wearing clothes – he thinks humans are crazy."

"Except most of us don't live in climate controlled areas", the friendly archaeologist intoned. "It would get a bit chilly without clothes."

"It would also be difficult to go into battle while naked", Teal'c reasoned.

"Some ancient races did", Daniel started to explain, although he quickly forgot the history lesson and returned to the story of Sam and Jack. "So, you're standing there completely naked. What did you do?"

"Do? Nothing. We just talked to Thor. He told us about your warning – again, thank you. Having him show up by our bed would probably have put a bit of a crimp in my style, if you know what I mean!"

"Yes O'Neill. You would most likely have found it difficult to obtain an e -"

"Yeah, yeah – we don't need to go into it Teal'c. I think we all get it."

"I don't", Daniel smirked. "Why don't you explain it to me Jack?"

"Go to hell Daniel", his friend answered him amicably. "He was disappointed though. _Thor_", Jack explained when his friends looked at him blankly. "You know – the guy we were talking about."

"Why was he disappointed?" Teal'c inquired.

"Um – he said he'd never seen – you know – live. He'd _read_ about it, but it wasn't the same."

"That's true. You really do have to see it to believe -"

"_Daniel_!"

"What? Oh – sorry. I didn't mean _you_. God – that would be just – gross!"

"It would indeed", Teal'c agreed.

"Thanks guys!"

"Wait a second", Daniel abruptly looked at Jack. "You're telling me he was disappointed not to have seen you guys in action?"

"That sounds really bad – okay, okay", he finished when Daniel glared. "Yes – he wanted to 'observe' us doing it. I thought Sam was going to hit him."

"And what about you?"

"Well – I kind of found it funny – in a sick, perverted way of course."

"Don't tell me you laughed?" Daniel could just see Jack acting inappropriately over this one.

"Of course I didn't! I just told him no and that was it. I laughed about it later when we were back in our 'honeymoon suite'."

"You had a suite?" Daniel.

"Well, it was actually a raised platform with a bed. There were no walls – just curtains and a view of the ocean. Although come to think of it", he mused, "I didn't look at the ocean that much."

"No, I'm sure your eyes were focused elsewhere!" Daniel said, rolling his eyes.

"Yup", Jack grinned and ate the last bite of roll. "Hey, anyone for dessert?"

"I think you've had enough treats for one week Jack", Daniel informed him.

"Indeed."

Jack grinned and leaned back and considered both of his friends. Yup – life was good and he was mellow. "You're both just jealous!"


	5. The Whistling General

_**Pure nonsense and fluff. I wrote this for narellew68 who wanted to see more of the 'Revenge' series. Hope you enjoy this very silly, pointless chapter! Just so you all know, I will continue with this series at least until the baby comes. **_

_**Thank you to all my reviewers. Hopefully I can get back to you this week but always remember that your reviews truly do inspire me to keep writing! **_

Jack was whistling as he walked into his office and his assistant looked up in surprise. If he'd stopped to consider it, which he didn't, he would have realized how unusual it was for him to come from a meeting with the IOC looking even _moderately_ happy, let alone _whistling._

"Uh, was the meeting cancelled General?" she asked.

He stopped and looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Meeting? Oh, you mean with the IOC? Nah, it wasn't cancelled." He resumed his whistling, wondering briefly why Captain Neely was looking so – confused.

"Oh, I see. So everything went well?" She sounded highly doubtful, although the whistling had thrown her

"No. They're a load of idiots. And that's classified Captain", he warned. "Although everyone knows it anyway." He walked past her to his office.

He'd barely made it to his desk when he noticed that Neely was right behind him.

"Was there something you wanted?"

"Just a few messages Sir", she answered, sounding vaguely put out. "Major Davis called and asked if you had some time to meet with him this afternoon. The Sect. of Defense's office called and the meeting with the Secretary has been moved to next week."

"He have a golf game today?" Jack asked, leaning back into his chair.

She frowned at him, reminding him of his fifth grade teacher. "His assistant said something important had come up", she scolded.

He sighed. "I'm sure it did Captain. Tell Davis I can see him at 1:00. Anything else?"

"Oh yes, General Landry called and asked if he could requisition another MALP."

"_Another one_", he exclaimed. "What the hell is he doing with the damned things?" he asked rhetorically, completely forgetting how many of the machines he'd run through on his watch.

"He said it was attacked by giant reptiles on the last planet they contacted."

"Reptiles! Of course there were giant reptiles." He sighed again. "Did anyone get hurt?"

"No Sir. They caught sight of one of the animals before anyone had gone through the gate. After the MALP was – eaten – he called off the mission."

"He could have sent Teal'c – he's a match for any old lizard!"

She wisely didn't reply but continued to watch him with what he was sure was a reproving look.

Captain Neely was efficient, that he wouldn't deny. She was also smart, unflappable and completely without a sense of humor. Whoever had assigned her to him had either decided to play a rather cruel joke on him, or they didn't know him at all. He'd started dreaming of Walter – in between dreams of Sam – which was seriously creepy! He suddenly looked at his assistant with narrowed eyes. "Did you ever work for the IOC Captain?"

"No Sir", she answered calmly.

"How about Senator Kinsey", he asked, still feeling a stab of the old loathing, even though the Senator was long since deceased.

"No", she replied calmly.

"Baal?"

She sighed heavily. "I worked for Colonel Smithfield and before that for the office of Veterans Affairs."

"Oh." He stared at her for a moment. He wondered if she'd been a prison guard in a former life. "Okay then, if that's all?"

"I just need you to sign these requisitions Sir, and what did you want me to tell General Landry about the MALP?"

"Didn't I just sign a bunch of requisitions?" He looked at the pile of paper she'd put in front of him like it was one of those reptiles that had eaten Hank's MALP.

"Yes Sir. These are new ones."

"They must reproduce on your desk!" he grumped. He pulled the pile towards him and started signing, the whistling a now distant memory.

"And the MALP Sir?"

He let out a huge 'huff' of breath and stopped signing for a moment. "I'll call Hank myself – and tell him I'm sending him a bunch of those balsa wood boomerangs. It'll be a lot cheaper. He can toss it through and it will come back in just a few seconds", he explained.

"It couldn't come right back Sir", she told him seriously. "It cannot come back through an outgoing wormhole."

He stared at her in what looked like complete surprise. "Really? Since when?"

She frowned at him, the little lines above her nose more prominent then ever. "That's always the way the gate has worked Sir."

He wondered briefly if she'd ever read his history. Surely she had to know he'd gone through the gate for eight years? Oh well, he might as well have a bit of fun. His own was about the only humor he experienced at the Pentagon

"You're kidding. Why didn't anyone tell me?" he asked, sounding peeved.

"I don't know Sir. Maybe they assumed you already knew." Her tone of voice suggested that she thought he was one straw short of a load.

"See", he whined, "they shouldn't _assume_ anything. Heck I could have gone through the wrong way and come out the other end _backwards_!"

She just looked at him – he was sure he saw intense pity in her eyes. "Yes Sir", she finally said.

"Make a note of that Captain – we need to send a memo to Hank and the folks at the SGC making sure they know about this.

She nodded and stood silently and watched until he lifted his pen. She waited until all the papers were signed and then headed out of his office without saying anything more. After the door shut he sighed and leaned back in his chair. He wondered idly if he could entice Walter to come to work for him. He was pretty sure Hank wouldn't let him go but hell, maybe he'd trade him for a new MALP?

By the time Paul Davis stopped by he'd regained most of his good mood of the morning. The IOC meeting really had been painful – and normally he'd be steaming, but today there was too much good stuff to think about to worry about the morons who made up the oversight committee. He wondered briefly if he could ask Hank to take them on an oversight visit to the planet with the reptiles. That would be a fitting end for the IOC, and much less painful to him than losing an expensive piece of machinery.

There was a soft tap on his door, which opened on his quick 'Enter'. "General O'Neill?"

"Hi Paul – come on in. It's nice to see a friendly face."

Paul Davis – one of his favorite people in DC – entered with a grin. "Do you see a lot of _un_friendly ones Sir?"

"Hell ya! Give me a simple Goa'uld – or even one of the Ori – over the representative from China or Russia! Those guys are _scary_ – and I don't think they like me", he whined.

Davis laughed. "I'm sure they think you're – fine Sir. It's just that they feel they have to temper the military side of things."

Jack made a rude sound with his mouth – which he figured was probably both unprofessional and beneath the dignity of a General – but he really didn't care. "Have a seat." He waited until Davis – he wondered idly why the man hadn't yet been promoted – was seated. "What can I do for you Major?"

"Well Sir", Davis fidgeted slightly, which wasn't like the man. "As you know I was reassigned to the Defense Department – working with the Western European division."

Jack nodded – he knew that, and had thought it a waste of the man's talents. "I do. Not happy there Paul?"

"Oh – it's fine Sir. I report to General Chetwind, and he's a good Commander -"

" – but?"

"Well Sir, I kind of miss the work I did with the SGC. I really found it interesting and hope I helped the program by –"

"You did", Jack said calmly. "Would you like to transfer there?" He wasn't really sure if there would be a position for the Major at the SGC. He had been a great liaison between the Pentagon and Stargate Command, but Jack rather thought his talents lay more in Washington than in Colorado. Although, to be fair, the man was a great officer. Maybe he'd do well at the SGC.

"Uh no Sir", he replied. "I think I'm best suited to DC but-", he took a deep breath. "Look General, I think you're doing an incredible job here, and you've gained the respect of everyone, but I know how much you hate to deal with the IOC and some of our – Earthly allies. I thought I might be able to fill that role for you – you know, be _your_ liaison."

Jack sat staring at him, and suddenly had the urge to start whistling again. "You're saying you'd like to work for me?"

"Yes General, if there's a place for me and you think I'd help."

"Think you'd _help_! God Paul, I'd take you in a second if I could". He stopped abruptly, seeing the look of disappointment on the other man's face. "Wait – let me talk to a couple of people to see if I could steal you over here." He smirked. "I'm sure the IOC would be happy to have you as my liaison as much as I would. Maybe I can get them to put in a good word for you! I'll check on it Paul, and get back to you."

"Thank you Sir", Davis stood up and saluted. "I appreciate that. If it doesn't happen – that's okay too. You know I'll help in whatever way I can."

O'Neill thanked him and watched as the Major headed towards the door. "Davis!" he stopped the man just before he left.

"Yes Sir?" Davis turned around, one hand on the doorknob.

"Uh", he lowered his voice. "Do you know how I go about – changing assistants?"

Paul looked puzzled for a moment and then bit his lip to keep from smiling. "I assume you mean" he made a motion with his head towards the outer office.

Jack nodded. "Not my – type", he clarified, although he frowned when he realized how that sounded. "Not like _that_", he clarified.

"I know Sir", Davis grinned. "I know you and Colonel Carter are - uh well uh – I think you just need to talk to HR and they'll – help."

"Thanks!" Jack waited until the other man had left and then he picked up the phone. He had decided that he not only _wanted_, but he _needed_ Davis to work for him. He started whistling again.

* * *

"No – you cannot go in there if you don't have an appointment."

His assistant's calm – but definite sounding voice leaked through the closed door. He stopped writing and tilted his head to listen.

"I am sorry", Neely said, speaking slowly as if to a young child, "You cannot disturb the General, I don't care _who_ you are. You have to make an appointment to see him. That's protocol!"

Jack could tell, by her tone of voice, that there was no way whoever was there was _ever_ going to get an appointment to see him. If Captain Neely didn't like you you could forget getting inside the doorway to his office. Jack grimaced slightly – it had actually been one of the few things he'd liked about her – at least he had when she was keeping IOC members away from him.

Still, he was curious and decided he needed to investigate. He was pretty sure she would be capable of keeping out the President himself if he didn't have an appointment. Protocol was everything to Captain Neely. He could hear a low voice murmuring in response to her objections, but he could only tell it was a male voice, not who it belonged to.

He opened the door and stuck his head around the corner. He had his mouth open, ready to utter some completely fictitious reason why he needed her, when he caught sight of the person – no _persons_ who were in the outer office.

"Teal'c!, Daniel!" He strode out into his assistant's sanctum sanctorum and grabbed first Daniel, and then Teal'c in tight man-hugs. "It's so good to see you guys! What are you doing here? Come on in!"

"Yes, well, you almost _didn't – _see us, I mean", Daniel turned and glared at Captain Neely.

Jack turned and lifted an eyebrow at the Captain and was pleased to see that for the first time she looked uncomfortable. He knew it wouldn't last – she'd be back to trying to control him tomorrow. He really had to find someone with a sense of humor! "Next time either of these men come to see me you are to tell me they're here, is that understood Captain?" He pulled out his 'General's' voice – the one he used rarely, but which people knew meant business. He decided that he'd had enough of this.

"Yes Sir", she nodded respectfully, although he was sure he saw her eyes glow.

"Okay guys – what the heck are you doing here? I didn't think you were going to get in until later!" The reason for his good mood today was because Teal'c and Daniel were planning to spend the weekend in DC. They had a meeting on Monday and were to present to the Committee, so Jack had arranged for them to come early and to stay with him and Sam. Sam, of course, was 'transporting herself' over after work, with the Asgard device.

"We decided to come on an earlier transport O'Neill", Teal'c explained. "General Landry gave us the day off to be able to come and spend more time with you."

"He tell you to bug me about the MALP?" Jack asked suspiciously.

"He did not", Teal'c answered.

"Except he knew darn well you'd be happy to see us and he figured you'd be more likely to grant his request", Daniel explained matter of factly.

"Yeah – I figured it was something like that."

"So, you gonna let him have one?" Daniel took a seat on the couch in Jack's office, peering around as he did so. It was the first time he'd seen O'Neill's DC office.

"Oh yeah, probably." Jack grinned. "But I'll let him stew about it for a few days. Don't want him to think I'm a pushover!"

Daniel rolled his eyes and Teal'c gave the eyebrow. "Nice place you have here. Feels very – important." Daniel had stood up and was checking out the books in the bookcase. "Wow Jack – have you actually read these?"

"No Daniel. I asked my assistant to go out and buy books to impress people. My comic books are in my desk."

"Really?" Daniel turned to him with big eyes.

"Daniel Jackson, after all this time do you not know when O'Neill is pulling your leg?"

Daniel looked at him consideringly and then sighed. "Yeah – you'd think I'd have figured it out by now, don't you? So you have read these. I am impressed. By the way, what's with your assistant? She's a bit -"

"Yeah", Jack sighed. "She is. So", he stood up and went to the rack to grab his cover and jacket. "Let's get out of this place before Landry calls and tells me he's lost a scientist or something!"

"You can do that? Just leave, I mean?"

"Daniel – I'm the _man_. I can leave when I want!" He turned and held his finger to his mouth and then whispered. "Now, when we go into the other office, pretend like we're all going to a meeting."

"I thought you were the man and could leave when you want?"

Jack frowned. "I can – but it makes my life easier if she doesn't know. I think she's a Goa'uld." Without saying any more he opened the door and walked past Neely's desk. "We're off to our meeting Captain. I don't know when we'll be back so you can leave right at 5:00."

"Yes Sir." She watched until he reached the door, followed by his two companions. "Uh General, your driver will be downstairs in ten minutes to take you home."

It wasn't until he was out in the hall that he swore. "How the hell does she do that?"

It was only mid-afternoon by the time they arrived at the O'Neill's house. It was a large four-bedroom colonial, so each man had his own room.

"Nice, Jack", Daniel said, looking around. "Sam must have decorated."

"I'll have you know Jackson, that I am perfectly capable of decorating my own house!"

"When did she do it?"

"Uh – just last month. Come on, you guys want a drink?" After he'd served them the three men went out into the backyard and sat on the patio, drinking beer and talking about what was new in all their lives.

* * *

"Jack!" Sam's voice called from the living room a few hours later. At Jack's return shout she walked out onto the deck and gave each man a hug, ending with her husband.

"Have a seat", he instructed his heavily pregnant wife, "and I'll get you something to drink." She sighed and plopped down in the chair beside him, leaning back in relief.

"You are looking good Samantha", Teal'c told her.

"Yeah Sam – you look great!"

"Thanks! You guys are such good liars. I look like a hippopotamus!"

Teal'c regarded her carefully. "You do not", he informed her a couple of seconds later. "I see no resemblance to a hippopotamus."

"I think she just meant she feels big, Teal'c", Daniel explained.

"She _is_ big Daniel Jackson."

Daniel grimaced and looked apologetically at Sam. "Uh Teal'c, it's probably better you don't point that out."

"Why not?" his friend asked. "It is clearly the truth. I am sure Samantha is aware of it as she most likely sees herself in a mirror on a daily basis."

"Yes Teal'c", she sighed, "I do. However, Daniel's right in that I don't particularly want to be reminded of the fact."

"Reminded of what?" her loving husband asked, stepping outside and handing her a glass of lemonade.

"Samantha does not wish to be reminded of the fact that she is very large", Teal'c explained.

Jack froze, in the process of lifting his beer to his mouth. He blinked a couple of times and then finally found his voice. "Uh – you didn't tell her that did you?"

"Yes. As I informed Daniel Jackson, it is the truth."

"I was right", Jack turned his head in awe. "Teal'c _is_ the bravest man I know."

"Jack, Daniel", Sam laughed. "Stop bugging Teal'c. He's right – I _am_ big but since it's _your_ baby O'Neill, I totally blame you!"

"Of course you do", said her faithful husband, taking a swig of beer. "That's what marriage is all about. Although _I_ don't think you're huge. I think you're beautiful and sexy!" He sounded very pleased with himself.

"And you are a total liar Jack O'Neill", his loving wife informed him, "but a very, very smart man."

"Does that mean I'm gonna get lucky tonight?" he asked with a hopeful look.

"Ewww!" Daniel chimed in. "Teal'c and I will leave if you get all – icky."

"Icky?" Jack said. "You sound like a ten-year old."

"I believe Daniel Jackson is correct", Teal'c added. "I believe that 'icky' is appropriate."

"Hey you guys", Sam said, sounding peeved. "There is nothing remotely 'icky' about having sex when pregnant! That sounds like something out of the Victorian age!"

"It's nothing to do with you being pregnant Sam", Daniel explained. "It's the thought of you and Jack having sex at all that's icky."

"Indeed."

"How do you think Sam got like _that_", he pointed to her belly, "If we _didn't_ have sex?"

"Immaculate conception?" Daniel said.

"I was going to say 'alien intervention'" added Teal'c.

"You guys are so funny", Jack gave a fake laugh. "I assure you there were no aliens or angels involved."

"Jack", warned his wife.

"Don't worry – I'm not going to give them any details – like the time we snuck into that storage locker on level 28. Or there was the time under the Briefing room table – remember, we almost got caught by Walter? And we _really_ won't tell him about that time Daniel was away with Sg5 on a mission and we snuck into his office – you remember those fertility statues you have Daniel?" He turned to a stunned looking Daniel. "You should be glad to know they work", he pointed again to Sam's stomach.

"Jack", his wife laughed. "What are you doing?"

"You didn't! Not on my _table_?" He looked back and forth between his two friends and then down to Sam's belly. "I mean – you didn't, right?"

"I believe O'Neill is again attempting to trick you Daniel Jackson", Teal'c said seriously. "I am sure he and Samantha have never done those things."

"Oh, I don't know Teal'c", Sam suddenly confessed. "I mean – it was just so tempting. Jack, should we tell Teal'c about the time he was away visiting R'yac?" She looked at her large friend. "I'm sorry Teal'c, but those candles made for such a romantic atmosphere – and we _did_ change the sheets."

This time Teal'c looked rather – flabbergasted. It was as both of the men were staring at them in horrified fascination that Jack and Sam lost it, clutching each other and then bending over with laughter.

"Your faces!" O'Neill said, practically choking. "I bet Teal'c will have a hard time lighting those candles for a long time."

"And every time Daniel sees those fertility statues ….!" Sam went into hysterical laughter once again.

Daniel and Teal'c looked at one another in disgust. "She's gone to the dark side Teal'c."

"I believe you are correct Daniel Jackson", his friend answered. "She has been infected with O'Neill's – dubious – sense of humor."

"Great! Maybe we should leave the two of them to enjoy their little joke in privacy."

"Oh, I wouldn't do that guys", Jack said, wiping his eyes. "You never know – we might just decide to have sex on the deck."

Sam giggled. "We already did Jack, remember?"

Daniel and Teal'c rolled their eyes and sat back in their chairs. After a couple of minutes both of them began to smile, and then to laugh. Watching the love between their friends – and their joy – they couldn't help but be happy for them.

"Alright guys, you've both had your little joke" Daniel informed them. "But you have to promise us that there will be no more talk of sex this weekend, okay? Teal'c and I want to _enjoy_ ourselves."

Jack regarded his wife seriously. "No talk of sex? Do you think we can do it?"

"Hmmm", she considered it. "Sure." She turned to Daniel and Teal'c. "Okay – Jack and I promise not to talk about sex this weekend."

"Thank God!" Daniel said in relief.

"I too am thankful", Teal'c added.

"But that doesn't mean we won't _do_ it", Jack added.

His friends groaned.


End file.
